THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU:
1) have nothing to do
2) own a sharp knife
3) have a large lime
4) own a patient cat
5) drink too much tequila
6) and it's football season?

I heard him trying to break in so I ran to the cabinet, grabbed my automatic, slammed the clip in and chambered a round.

I was so scared as I also grabbed a flashlight and snuck down the hall to the back door.
Once there I opened it as slowly and quietly as I could.

I tip toed to the side of the house where I heard him still working on the screen then turned the corner and put the flashlight and gun in his face.

I yelled "hands up!" as he turned to face me.