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Do you
select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
Does your
desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
Do you buy
more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
Do you scoop
out the litter box after each use?
Do you wait
at the box with the scoop in your hand?
Do you think
it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks
the butter?
Do you admit
to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
Do you sleep
in the same position all night because it annoys your
cats when you move?
Do you kiss
your cat on the lips?
Do you feed
your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
Does your
cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?
Does your
cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?
Do you have
more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food
in the refrigerator?
Do you watch
bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
Did you buy
a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain
your cat?
Will you
stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain
while your
cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
Would you
rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad
date?
Do you give
your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?
Do you spend
more for your cat than you do for your spouse?
Do the
Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's
lap?
Does your
cat sign the card?
Do you put
off making the bed until the cat gets up?
Does your
cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both
watched the
same commercial on television?
Do you
microwave your cat's food? Prepare it from scratch?
Do you climb
out of bed over the headboard or footboard,
so
you won't disturb the sleeping cat?
At the
store, do you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before
you pick out
anything for yourself?
Do you cook
a special turkey for your cat on holidays?
Does your
cat "insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of
an omelet
made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?
Do you have
pictures of your cat in your wallet?
Do you bring
them out when your friends share pictures of their children?
(Pollsters
claim that 40 percent of cat owners carry their pet's
pictures in
their wallets, by the way.)
When people
call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that
they say a
few words to your cat as well?
Do you
accept dates only with those who have a cat?
If so, do
you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along?
When someone
new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to
them?
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