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Sometimes we perceive ourselves as something other than we are and sometimes we come up with stories other than the truth. Who's to say that animals don't. Here are a few things animals may say and is for you to ponder whether the truth or not.
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AN OPEN LETTER TO THE HUMAN RACE From: The All Creation Society To: The Human Race~Jim Willis 2001~ Dear Monsieur & Madame Homo sapiens:
We regret that you were unable to attend our recent General Meeting. However, it is my sad duty to inform you that your continuing membership in our Society is currently under review as a result of allegations made against you at said meeting. (Some of which were rather shocking!)
To begin with, Canis lupus complained that your species has been the reason for extinction of several of his cousins, and that recently, you have even been shooting at him from your airplanes. Alligator mississippiensis alleged that some of your kind have been wrestling him for sport, and Crocodylus niloticus said he could top that and claimed you had made belts and purses out of his family members! Ursus maritimus reported that you have recently been drilling for oil in his habitat and upsetting the order of things, and Nyctea scandiaca confirmed the charge and said she was so upset she could barely sit on her eggs for the intrusion. Odocoileus virginianus and Oryctolagus cuniculus explained how they had hoped for better days after your �Disney� made movies featuring them, but that many of your kind make a habit of storming their woodlands and shooting at them, often with lethal consequences. Rattus norvegicus and Mus musculus said they were first enticed into your homes and barns with offers of food, and then had been beheaded by some cruel mechanical device � while several of their cousins opined that that was a relatively painless death compared to what they had endured in your laboratories. Orcinus orca claimed that he had been sold into slavery by you and forced to jump through hoops. Lynx rufus told how his kin had finally reclaimed some of their former habitat, at which point you opened a hunting season. Panthera tigris sumatrae said that in his part of the world he can barely find a plot of ground large enough to raise his family. Gorilla gorilla beringei wept when he told how your wars threatened both his habitat and his offspring. Eubalaena glacialis said he had swum the world�s oceans in an attempt to get away from you, and had been harpooned for his troubles. Equus caballas, that most noble of creatures, explained how his kind is wagered on by you, then sold by you at auction and transported without food and water to slaughter (surely he exaggerates?) One of the worst stories we heard that evening was from Selenarctos Thibetanus, of how his kind is cruelly imprisoned by you in cramped cages for their bile. His cousin Ailuropoda melanoleuca said she could hardly believe it � that you had chosen her as the symbol of one of your largest wildlife organizations!
We realize that you are relatively new to our membership (speaking in evolutionary terms). In the past, we have enjoyed a most pleasant relationship with some members of your species. We are eternally grateful to your Noah for rendering transportation assistance during that unfortunate incident. One of your members, Dr. Albert Schweitzer, is legendary for his kindness. We hold your Miss Rachel Carson in the highest esteem for trying to warn you about environmental concerns that threaten us all, and of course we are all aware of the efforts of Dr. Jane Goodall on behalf of Pan troglodytes.
However, we simply can no longer tolerate some of your behaviors and ignorance. In fact, our chairman, Panthera leo, called on two of your closest allies, Canis lupus familiaris and Felis domesticus to speak on your behalf during the meeting. Well, it was nearly impossible to restore order. They told how they had been abandoned and killed by the millions, allowed to breed out of control, acquired as companions and then ignored, passed around like pieces of old furniture, and had been targeted for such abuses that Struthius camelus could not hear any more and buried her head in the sand.
Many species said they felt so defenseless in your presence that they may was well be a sitting Aix sponsa. Alces alces concurred and said not only had they every reason to worry, but his kind was frequently shot by your species and then suffered the added indignity of having their heads hung on your walls! Elephas maximus said she has so many unpleasant memories of her relationship with your kind that she does not think she will ever forget them.
Please do not think us intolerant, or that we do not have a sense of humor (if I might offer Platypus compertus as proof of the latter), but this unseemly behavior simply must stop for the good of our entire membership. We respectfully request that you review our rules for peaceful coexistence on this planet and rethink some of your practices and behaviors. We are not insensitive to the dilemmas you face, particularly with some of your kind being herbivorous and some carnivorous. However, if there is not an immediate improvement in the current situation, we will have no choice but to take this matter up with The Creator.
Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to these matters.
Warm regards, Sagittarius serpentarius, General Secretary bird
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CAT DIARY ~Author
Unknown~
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OWNER'S GUIDE FOR CATS they can keep a
human being alive for upwards of seventy to
eighty years. If you follow these simple Attempts to get
humans to lick themselves clean have proven
interesting, if unproductive. Therefore, you should communicate a point loudly, repeatedly, and if at all possible, at about three in the
morning. Any attempts at human-to-cat
communication can be dealt with by preferably three or four minutes before the alarm is supposed to go off. Recommended methods of waking your human include: sitting on its face, screaming in its
ear, and biting its hair. spooked by
prolonged study of courtship rituals, and resort
to shoe-throwing behavior. Although experts in human behavior believe it can be attributed to the "laziness reflex," this can be easily corrected through what is called "shoe therapy." Just remember that a human
shoe looks a lot like a human toilet, and you should be fine.
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